My name...A Story of Love and Honoring

I recently changed the way I sign my posts and comments in the on-line world.  I went from signing everything as Mary Joy to signing everything as Mrs Mary Joy Pershing when I joined my dear husband, Will here on Learning to Live a Surrendered Life.  There have been some questions as to why I would do that...so today I thought I would share the story behind my name.

A story of love and of honoring.

I realized, a little while back, that I have never shared the story behind the first name "Mary Joy" that I have chosen as a writer either...it is a story that is very dear to me.  A journey, actually, behind the name...

So here goes...

Will and I on a date while he was courting me July 2009

Will and I met in May 2009, on-line, on a Christian single parents website.  I had never tried something like it before.  I was actually looking to meet some other single parent friends when we stumbled upon each other.  LOL  (this is a story I will save for another day).  The reason I share this with you today is that is where the "Mary Joy" started.

While I was on that site I went by my old email address name "Joyfullivingeveryday".  That is the name that Will knew me by when we met to chat and later talk on the phone.  My privacy was VERY important to me as a single mama of two young boys.  Will shortened this name to "Joyful" at first and then to "Joy".  Joy is a name I have always loved.  My love for God has turned my life to joy even during the hardest times...so I really loved being called "Joy".

I enjoyed it so much that I didn't realize that I hadn't told him my actual first name until after we had been chatting on line for several days and then on the phone for about a week.  Then one day he asked me...so do you think you will feel comfortable telling me your real name sometime...with his deep chuckle.  I was taken by surprise!  I hadn't realized that I hadn't!  LOL  I told him that hearing him call me "Joy" always made me smile.

It was then that I shared with him that my actual first name is Mary.  And he did the most touching thing...he told me that he thought Joy fit me.  So as far as he was concerned...I would always be Mary Joy (sometimes shortened to "MJ").  My heart leaped at his words.

From then on...he called me "Mary Joy"...later to become "his Mary Joy".

While he was courting me, he invited me to join him as a contributing writing on the blog he was publishing at the time.  Since I was still living alone with two young boys and had come from a previous marriage that wasn't safe...my privacy was very important to me.  Together we prayed about it and decided that I would go by "Mary Joy"...which is very different from my actual middle name.  I LOVED the idea and Will still believes that it fits me much better than "Mary".  And so being known as "Mary Joy" began.

Will and I at our marriage April 10, 2010

Over the last year and a half...I went from blogging with Will while we were courting to him launching me into my own blog as a wedding gift.  I was so excited and was already becoming known as "Mary Joy" so I decided to keep it.

Blogging on my own was a lot of fun!  And I learned A LOT some fun lessons and some very difficult ones.

Over the last few months of blogging on my old site, Seeds of Encouragement Sewn with Grace, I began to realize that, by not using my amazing new last name very often in the blogging world that I was focusing more on "me" and "my blog"...I had started to see hints of selfish goals in this way.  Some days I found myself more focused on my success as a blogger "on my own" instead of the greatest role I have of being Will's help meet and our children's mother.  Ouch!

God began convicting my heart of this "ego issue" and called me to surrender it to Him.

So when Will invited me to join him on his new blog, "Learning to Live a Surrendered Life" I was so humbled and blessed to be given an opportunity to work WITH him and joining him as his teammate in this dream.  I asked him to forgive me for becoming selfish with my writing and thanked him for the honor of standing at his side as his help-meet and team mate in our dream of sharing our journey of surrendering in this blog.

In appreciation for the beautiful gift of writing with him that he has blessed me with, I wanted to find a way to honor him that would be very special to him and show him that I am committed to bringing honor to him in my writing as much as I am in our every day lives.

It was then that the Lord spoke to my heart and gave me the answer...I shared my idea with my Will and his eyes lit up with joy as he accepted the gift...and he told me with such love and appreciation in his voice...that he would be honored if I began signing my name and being known as Mrs Mary Joy Pershing in the blogging world.

Praying during our "church elopement" wedding ceremony

The day he married me was the most incredible days of my life!  I am so proud to be his wife and to have taken his beautiful name in marriage...I was humbled by how much it meant to him that I would be signing my name as Mrs Mary Joy Pershing.  I want to honor him as my husband in everything that I do.  I am so blessed to be able to do it through my writing too...

Question:  What are some ways you honor your husband?


Joyfully dancing with my husband at the foot of the Cross,

Mrs Mary Joy Pershing

You can find more encouragement for your marriage at: Marriage Mondays on Come Have a Peace.

He Leads our Family in the Dance

Three years ago, our lives changed forever as the Lord gave me the strength and confidence in my heavenly Father to take the important necessary steps to leave a domestic violence marriage and follow God as He led us to safety across the state to begin a new life completely trusting in Him alone.  Josh was five at the time and little Michael was just 4 months old.  With God's protection and direction we began a new life together...just the three of us and God.  

At that time...all I knew was that God was my all...and that He knew the path that I would take.  I never thought my life would involve more than a life as a single mom dedicated to raising my two boys with God as my love and provider.  After a year of counseling, living in hiding, divorce and starting life fresh as a little family of our own...God began sharing with me that He has something more in mind.  He wanted me to love again...to dream again...to have a second chance at life with a godly husband and father for my boys.  

I didn't see how that would happen...I was over forty with two small children.  I was more in love with the Lord than ever and content to live life with Him as my leader, love, and parenting partner.  But He has something else in mind.  Something better than I ever imagined.

Before Will stepped into my life, I couldn't imagine pulling up our little roots and moving across the state to begin life as a family with an amazing, godly husband and father for Josh and Michael...and to dream of having a daughter as the icing on the cake.

But in May of 2009, God introduced Will and I.  Both of us were depending on God to take the lead and show us the direction He had in mind because we were not planning on beginning a relationship.  However, before I knew it, Will was courting me...meeting my boys...and falling in love with me and Josh and Michael as well.  We had a long distance courtship with many road trips and visits with his daughter, parents and siblings.  

He would call me daily when we were apart and we would talk and pray and dream and share with one another our stories of where we had been...and dream and pray about where we were going together.  

The moment that little Michael, at just sixteen months old, laid eyes on Will in person he reached out to him with open arms and squeals of "Daddy! Daddy! Daddy!"  (This was the first time he had ever called anyone Daddy or ever said the word.)  And he has never stopped.

Will is the kind of man that I always dreamed of having as a husband and father for my children.  

A man who is totally in love with the Lord and treasures his time praying, reading and studying God's Word.  While he was courting me, he would call me and share what God was teaching him through His Word that day and I would share what I was learning as well.  Now that we are married (as of April 2010), I look forward to hearing how God is speaking to him each day as we share about what God is doing in our lives throughout our days.

Will's commitment to spending time with the Lord everyday has a huge, life altering impact on our family.  Michael and Josh are growing to have the same excitement and desire to spend time in God's Word.  They were used to seeing Mommy reading her Bible and praying but the impact that having a father so in love with God and excited about following Him even on the tough days...is powerful stuff!

His love of God and deep desire to grow closer to Him everyday is so catching!  His example challenges me to keep my relationship with God first in my life.  On days when I get wrapped up in the details of life, I walk upstairs to his home office and see him absorbing every word of His morning Bible time.  He takes the time to stop what he is doing and listen, encourage and share with me how God is challenging him to grow that day touches me deeply and reminds me that God is so much bigger than anything I am dealing with that day. 

Over the past several months, Will has been dealing with the new challenge of a seizure disorder.  His whole life has been turned upside down.  He is no longer able to drive, until he has been seizure free for at least six months.  He had to give up his IPod Touch due to light sensitivity seizures.  He has also had to limit his computer time each day for the same reason.  He doesn't have the energy that he used to and although there were moments when he was angry and frustrated in the beginning...he never walked away from God.  Instead he fell on his knees and cried out to him from deep in his soul and asked God to help him to become a better man, husband, and father through all of this.

He has shared with me how much he has grown as he has had to surrender so many things to the Lord in all of these challenges.  I am in awe as I see his relationship with God grow deeper because of them as well.  

Watching him grow and surrender has moved me to a new level of surrender in my own walk with the Lord.  God has taken this scary health challenge and turned it into a beautiful opportunity to grow closer to Him as we depend more and more on Him each day.

Our children watch this journey and their love for God's Word is deepening as well.  Josh LOVES to spend time reading his Bible and Michael has a new little Bible now and begs for us to read Him stories about Jesus everyday.  They both take their Bibles to bed with them.  Our daughter, Annie, leans on Him more and more each day and discussion of God's Word and praying together is common in daily life in our home.

I am overwhelmed with gratitude for this man who leads our family in the dance with God's amazing strength and grace at the foot of the Cross.  Happy Father's Day, Honey!

Question:  How does your husband bless you?

Dancing together at the foot of the Cross,

Mrs. Mary Joy Pershing

Be sure to visit Marriage Monday at Come Have a Peace!

Make Yourself at Home...

Our home we moved into last year on our wedding day!

Hello!  Welcome to our new home!  As you may or may not know...we are still moving into our new blog home.  But one of the beautiful things about hospitality is that its not about what your home looks like...its about helping people to feel comfortable and right at home.  That is what we hope you will find here.  

A place where you can grab a coffee, glass of iced tea or your favorite soda pop and sit back, relax, and take a moment to:

read,

relax,

think,

be encouraged,

laugh,

be inspired.

A place where we can share our journeys together!  

Our home isn't a fancy place where you need to be afraid to put your feet on the coffee table and our blog home isn't either...so go on...get comfortable!  Don't mind all of the boxes and the pages we are finishing up...please excuse the mess...what is important to us is that you feel comfortable being yourself here...

You can count on us being our selves...the good...the messy...as we open our hearts and share the journey that the Lord is taking us on...

We are just an ordinary married couple who is passionately in love with the Lord and each other...some days are great days...humbly amazing!!!!

Some days are tough as we face the scary unknown of illness...financial challenges...and the challenges of becoming a new family as newly weds in our 40s with an almost 16 year old daughter (who we see as often as her schedule allows her to be with us), an eight year old son who faces challenges of his own and of course our youngest, who is three and full of energy, giggles, and did I say energy?

But can I tell you something?  

There are days when we forget...and we try to do this journey with an "I can do this God." attitude...and instead of being lifted into the strength of His arms we fumble and stumble our way through.  But He is there waiting...

The most amazing part is how God has and continues to use all of these challenges to help us to surrender more and more to Him everyday!!  We draw closer to each other and cling to each other and our amazing God!

And when we do surrender...let him lead the dance...the freedom and peace He pours on each of us puts me in humble awe.

We serve a big God...HUGE actually!  And He knows what lies ahead in our journey...He knows the lessons we must learn...the areas of our lives we must surrender...to be ready for the next step of our journey.  

So even though we are both a "little" (uuuuhhhmm clearing throat sounds here) hard headed at times...God is with us...patiently waiting for us to get it...to just surrender it all to Him and let Him lead the way.

In this place...this new bloggy home of ours...we bare our journey to you...

Our journey as husband and wife...

Our journey as father and mother...

Our journey as son and daughter of the King of Kings...

We will offer our ordinary words to you as a testimony of the extra-ordinary, amazing work that He can do in your life...because trust me...if He can use us...He has plans for you my friend!!!

So like I said...even though we are still getting settled in and unpacking...make yourself comfortable...and know that God is always with you and ready to listen.

We thank you for joining us as we learn to dance together at the foot of the Cross...

Surrendering to Him Everyday,

Mrs Mary Joy Pershing

P.S.  Be sure and leave a comment introducing yourself...and answer one simple question..so which do you prefer...coffee, iced tea or soda pop?  I'm an iced tea or Diet Pepsi fan myself and Will loves all three!


If you are looking for more Christian Marriage Encouragement be sure to stop by Julie Sanders' "Marriage Mondays"...I know I did!